I will list up my k-pop related dreams. Look forward to it! *haha* and read what`s going on in #AFangirlsInsaneMind !
OTL: Site is now categorized in YEARS! So please choose a year in the sub-sites section my friends~
This is the k-dreams year of 2017*: ･ﾟ✧
The “Prequel” dream
(ppl involved: Siwon and me)
This was a good one! ^^ I never had a dream like this so listen to this:
It was like a prequel to the wedding dream from end 2015 and I was hella besides myself, because it was the evening before the wedding. My friends just had left and I was finishing a letter I wanted Siwon to have the next day and towards the end I just fell so nervous that I walked around the kitchen like “someone help me (இ﹏இ`｡) ” . I wondere if I would do something stupid do ruin everything and since I had no experince with weddings at all (not even as a guest) the thought about how things would go and if they would go well gave me a good bit of anxiety. At some point I was just really nervously-confused not even really knowing why anymore. I read my letter like 5 times to make sure it was really finished and put myself to bed because I did not function as a human being anymore anyway.
The next day, the dream started again when I had just gotten into my dress and mom and my sister were finishing the details I couldn’t finish myself (hair, hairpins, lacing the dress up on the back). Had fought back my anxiety by that time and somehow now I only felt happiness and couldn’t wait to finally see Siwon in the church.
When my dad walked me towards the altar I smiled so wide and I can’t even remember if I was crying, idk~ (愛˘‿˘愛)
Siwon looked neat as hell in his black suit and was smiling like an idiot too. It all felt really different to our usual happiness and I was so glad that the ceremony now finally started.
The whole thing then took another leap forward and it was already towards the end of the wedding party. I was saying goodbye to a workmate who was leaving and as we talked she said that she has been talking to Siwon and was really happy for me finding a guy like this. For a reason I was really embarrassed and she kept talking about how nice he was and she could have never imagined when I talked about him before.
Another time-skip later it was the next day, we prepared for our honeymoon journey and while packing we were just really cuddly and all. The words of my workmate still echoes in my mind as I looked at Siwon and felt just so incredibly blessed. Like how did I ever deserve him? He was literally the nicest guy that there is (at lest for me) in the world and I felt an absurd amount of love towards him. ❤♡ʚ⃛꒰ᴖ͙◡ुᴖ͙꒱ɞ⃛♡❤ Like I could never believe it was possible for me to love him more than I already did, but I had thought that before and I always could love him more.
I can hardly start to describe this feeling of real happiness and love when I looked at him like yes, this is it. ^^
This was such a nice episode in my K-dreams… gosh! and it really made me miss having Siwon around with his tweets and everything. Hope he discharges from the army soon ^^
The “Meeting Up Again” dream
(ppl involved: Jaejoong and me)
This was a happy one!
I went to a restaurant to meet up with Jaejoong again! =D It wasn’t far so I just walked.
It has been quite a while, as so often and I was really looking forward to seeing him.
We met there for dinner and had a real funny evening. Especially since Jaejoong had a bit too much and ended up being a little bit drunk. Not too bad, just enough to have funny thoughts. In the end it got us both laughing. Jaejoong because he laughed about everything in the end and me because he was like that (and he said funny things that probably only make sense when you’re tipsy).
When it was getting late we paid and left. Jaejoong insisted of walking me home because it was already dark. He wanted to bring me home safely.
On the way to Siwon’s and my house we came to talk about old times and Jaejoong was like “you know the time when Junsu and you broke up” and we could actually be funny about it. I thanked him for holding our group together, despite everything. He said it was quite a work and I sighed, saying “what a life.”.
We kept laughing and talking on our way, arms on each others shoulders in a friendly way (also, since JJ was tipsy, I feared he would enventually get onto the street like falling off the sidewalk so that way it was good). I had just really enjoyed the evening with our Jaejoong and it is always good to see him again. =)
The “Panicking for no Reason” dream
(ppl involved: my sister and her friend, Siwon and me)
This was a strange one… and pretty confused so I can only remember fragments.
My sister wanted to absolutely go to an event and made us join. I had no idea what it was about since she wouldn’t tell. So we went to the city with her, Siwon and me and my sister’s best friend.
We walked into a mall and there were a lot of ppl in there already. Not like normal like ‘normal lot of ppl’… more like ‘there is something happening that attrackts them’-lot of ppl. Somehow this already made me nervous but I followed behind the others.
When we reached the center of the mall there was this kind of stage thing and ppl doing showing things/doing stuff on it in front of a crowd and my sister wanted to do that too. It was maybe like a contest of some sorts? Idk. In any case she wanted us all to do this and my anxiety sorta freaked out. I told her no two times because the very idea of this made me uncomfortable as in introvert and in the end finally left everyone, saying they could do this without me, because I had to get fresh air.
When outside I took a deep breath and literally tried to walk off my anxiety regarding ppl and in-front-of-audience-performances of any sort. Well, it was only working halfway through because then I thought what if everyone was now really disappointed in me. Especially Siwon. What if he thinks that is really lame of me? (*´･ω･)
I kept walking up and down the walkway in front of the mall, my thoughts spinning and in the end of course going wild because anxiety. I hardly ever had an attack that bad because now it was about Siwon and I am still hella afraid to lose him even tho we are already married. Because that would be one of the absolutely most devastating things to happen. So you can imagine I was about to be ridiculously worried. And it made even less sense because I kinda knew I was making myself crazy because… why should he be like that? I was really afraid and it made no sense, I knew that.
And that is the worst about anxiety: It makes no sense but you still follow these thoughts through like an idiot.
Next thing was that I was then suddenly stopped in my tracks by someone. It was Siwon and I never noticed him approaching me, but he held me by the shoulders and he asked “Sangmi-ya, are you alright?”. In the meantime I was almost crying and just said “I don’t want to do that. I can’t. I just can’t.”. I kept repeating that and he just hugged me and told me that it was alright. It was not even about this event thing anymore and I ended up crying just because out of my irrational fear to lose him.
After a bit I had calmed down and Siwon made me follow him back inside the mall again. On the way up the stairs to the level where the stage was he told me repeatedly that we did not have to do that, we could just watch. In the end we stood at the side of the stage like before and I hesitated to close up to him, being weary of this whole thing and he said again “It’s alright, we will just watch.”.
Ah gosh… I felt like such a bother to him and still was so greatful that he was so understanding. (ಥ﹏ಥ)♥
Ah, Siwon you got yourself such a trouble(/some)d wife! And what a husband I have! Thank god!
…. = = the thing I absolutely hated was just that my anxiety found a way into my dreams once more. Didn’t happen for a really long time and it sucked lots because it felt so real.
Hrrr… DIE, ANXIETY! DIE! ( ಠ益ಠ)︻╦╤─ .. \(anxiety)/ DAMN YOU!
The “Official Now and Chill” dream
(ppl involved: Siwon and me)
I dunno how this happened with half the boys in the army, but: There was an event where SuJu performed for a bit. It was not their concert, they just appeared for like 3 Songs.
There was a middle-sized concert hall, I was backstage. Staff running around, other artists (I had no clue who they were, btw) and managers on their phones. The thing I did was just looking around and waiting for Siwon to come back xD
The boys were on stage at that moment. I had nothing better to do than waiting around. Pretty much all I ever do is waiting for Siwon to return ^//^ . While I was there I watched them dance like a stalker xD Backstage watching feels weird, tbh.
When they were done Siwon came over to me directly (stood not too far from the stairs leading down from the stage) and we hugged. I congratulated them on their good performance and everyone left the stage area while other artist went to perform. Some of SuJu walked ahead talking to staff, Siwon and I trailed after them, arms around each other. Peopel didn’t seem to give a fack and so we didn’t either 😁
It appeared to be an official thing with our marriage and all that nobody bothers anymore, the least of all us. We were just casually PDA-ing.
It was nice not to have the pressure of hiding on us anymore. I felt relaxed at least =)
I was really at ease and chill with the whole situation. Normally I would be always kind of looking back over my shoulder like ‘did anyone see? Did anyone notice anything?’. Thank god we can all chill with it now! (because it gets tiresome after some years but well… ^^)